How Clear Are You on What You Really, Really Want?

Laura Novakowski  -  Apr 21, 2011  -  Comments Off on How Clear Are You on What You Really, Really Want?


One would think that when a person is asked what they really, really want in work, in life, in a relationship, that the response would be immediate. Surprisingly, or perhaps, not so surprising, the responses are: silence… or “Let me think for a minute,” or more sadly, “I really don’t take time to think about what I really want, I’m too busy doing.”

Silence or “Let me think for a minute

These two are interesting responses. They to me indicate that the person is stopped short for several reasons.

  1. Genuinely, I need time to give a thoughtful response because it is important to me
  2. Actually, I am afraid to express what I really want
  3. I need to think about a response that will sound interesting and important enough to share and impress you
  4. I don’t trust you and so I’m not willing to share

This third response, “I really don’t take time to think about what I really want, I’m too busy doing,” indicates several things to me.

  1. I’m not worthy of investing thinking time in myself to fully appreciate what I really want
  2. I’m not used to stopping all the crazy busyness to think
  3. I’m clueless to how important understanding what I really want is to me and to anyone involved with me
Whatever the reasons or stories we have for not clarifying what we really want, it has become profoundly clearly to me, that this is one of our greatest limiting factors in success in business and joy in life. The more I am clear about what I want, the more likely I am to attract that want (positive or negative into my life).

And so, I am leaving you with this question, “What do you really, really want out of …?”

Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau….will you “live your life in quiet desperation.

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