One would think that when a person is asked what they really, really want in work, in life, in a relationship, that the response would be immediate. Surprisingly, or perhaps, not so surprising, the responses are: silence… or “Let me think for a minute,” or more sadly, “I really don’t take time to think about what I really want, I’m too busy doing.”
Silence or “Let me think for a minute“…
These two are interesting responses. They to me indicate that the person is stopped short for several reasons.
- Genuinely, I need time to give a thoughtful response because it is important to me
- Actually, I am afraid to express what I really want
- I need to think about a response that will sound interesting and important enough to share and impress you
- I don’t trust you and so I’m not willing to share
This third response, “I really don’t take time to think about what I really want, I’m too busy doing,” indicates several things to me.
- I’m not worthy of investing thinking time in myself to fully appreciate what I really want
- I’m not used to stopping all the crazy busyness to think
- I’m clueless to how important understanding what I really want is to me and to anyone involved with me
And so, I am leaving you with this question, “What do you really, really want out of …?”
Or in the words of Henry David Thoreau….will you “live your life in quiet desperation.“